Azerbaijan Has Cured Cancer (and Diabetes)

I know: you’re probably skeptical.  But I’m not kidding, as Today.Az is on the story:

The experimental research and testing laboratories functioning in “Nizami AS” in Azerbaijan invented a food solution that destroys cancer cells and cells of diabetes.

The solution that we have been working on for many years will prevent the enhancement of cancer, head technologist of the lab Chimnaz Aliyeva told Trend. “Since the solution has a preventive effect, it can be taken without consulting a doctor,” – said Aliyeva.

Even better, it’s an over-the-counter solution!

At first, I had thought that this was an April Fool’s joke, but the date on the story says March 31-a day too early.  Instead, this is just a dubious story from any vantage point.  Do we need to help the scientists understand that with diabetes, there aren’t actually any cells to destroy?  It’s actually the lack of cells in the first place that is the problem.

With the cancer cure, it seems like we don’t have any details here.  I’m sure that Chimnaz Aliyeva is a well-intentioned scientist, but…really?  To illustrate why this is even more ridiculous than it sounds, we can look at an on-going story with a fellow expat here in Azerbaijan who has recently been told of a tumor in his stomach.  In order to check for cancer, the doctors have told him that the testing in Azerbaijan isn’t good enough, so they will take a sample and send it to a laboratory in Europe, instead.  And we are all in agreement that nobody should be visiting Lənkəran’s hauntingly lurking “Onkoloji Xəstəxanası” (Oncology Hospital).

More on Today.Az’s knack for fantastic reporting.